The Ultimate Wedding Day – Top 10 Secrets
I’ve met with hundreds of couples over the years as they go about their wedding photographer search and I’ve noticed a common thread among nearly every couple. They are totally excited, probably a little overwhelmed, and almost always looking for answers from a trusted source as quickly as possible so they can move on to the next step in the planning process. After all, there is a LOT to plan for to make your big day go as smoothly as possible. I’m usually the second person they meet with in the process after choosing their venue so I get to see things as they unfold from the beginning stages. In this post, I’d like to address the Top 10 Tips to have the Ultimate Wedding Day and I hope that it helps make your day a totally fun and memorable experience.
Now granted, I’m a little bias toward the photography side, but after my last conversation with Jennifer (who just booked us to be her photographer for 2012) the idea seemed so simple. If a wedding is planned correctly, with an eye toward taking great photos, and with plenty of time allotted for everything, then the images turn out amazing and more importantly, the couple has enjoyed a wonderful day. Really that’s the bottom line, make it easy and fun for the Bride and Groom. A stressed bride is going to look stressed in her pictures, simple right? Sometimes it’s not that easy because there are some things out of her (and our) control. But, with a little planning and some help from an expert things can and will go better than expected!
I’m not a wedding planner by any means, I never have been, but I’ve grown up with one (my mother has planned a TON of weddings) and I have a few that are good friends of mine. In fact, if you want to check them out I really think it’s worth a look… a good planner will make sure your day is priceless and painless and it really helps your photographer to have someone who knows what they are doing. Anyway, like I was saying, I’m not a planner, but I have seen LOTS of weddings and after considering the last 45 we’ve shot I’d have to say that some were great, some were crazy, others were stressful and a few were a joy to shoot and very well done! So what made the difference? The planning and the execution. I know, not very romantic, but what’s more romantic… being stressed and running out of time or just relaxing and enjoying all of the people that have come to support you on one of the most significant days of your life? I’ll go with the latter any day!
So enough of my chatter… here is the list.
1. Be Picky about your Photographer
This is one decision you can’t base on price or even images alone. I list this as the first item because this single person has the ability to make or break your wedding day. Who will spend the most time with you on your wedding day? Who’s final product will you be showing off to your friends and family? Who has the ability to make guests feel comfortable or terribly awkward? You’ve already guessed it, your photographer. I’ve seen and worked with great ones, I’ve heard horror stories of others. Basically, there are three key elements to consider when choosing your photographer that are more important than any other no matter what anyone tells you.
- Personality – Why do I list this as the first requirement? Because it is the one that will make or break your wedding. Your photographer will spend so much time with you and interact with all of your guests you better make sure you are comfortable with their personality. Are they pushy, loud, or unprofessional during your first meeting? Were they late or unkind at any time? If you can answer yes to any of these… run. Do you really want to hang out with this person on your wedding day? On the other hand, if the photographer is willing to listen to you and your ideas, is punctual, friendly, undertanding and professional you can bet you have a class act on your hands. Don’t let that one slip away. This type of photographer will consider you to be the boss and take queues from your mood during your big day. It’s this type of photographer who will put everyone at ease and you will see it come shining through in the images. Most of all, this is the type of photographer who will make your day a blast!
- Style – This item is very important as well. Just like you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, you can’t change a photograher’s style. Only the photographer can do that and it takes months or years to accomplish. If you are shopping photographers based on price, you are neglecting their style. Their portfolio should speak to you in some way, make you say wow or give you a warm fuzzy feeling then you should move on to price. If the price draws you in, then you have to decide if their style fits what you want or if you will have to settle for whatever they come up with, even if it’s not to your liking. This is a key point, choose a photographer for their style and make sure you see consistency in their portfolio.
- Skill – This is one that is hard to judge, but can usually be seen in the images. Are they crisp and clean or out of focus? Are they grainy or clean? Are there moments being captured or mostly poses? Do you see good use of light or bad use of flash? Here in Arizona this aspect plays a key role. Choose wisely and you’ll find someone who can shoot in all of our sun filled days and make it look great. Choose poorly and you’ll get a lot of over exposed ceremony images and horribly lit reception photos. As a wedding photographer you are always changing settings and adapting to the environment on the fly, not thinking about it, just reacting. Ask good questions and you’ll find out what skill level the photographer you’re interviewing can offer.
- Experience – This is last, but certainly not least. I have a client that booked me just two months before her wedding because she had graduated from ASU with a photography degree and was going to have some fellow graduates shoot the wedding. This had been the plan from the beginning. But then this bride got to thinking about their experience level and if they knew what to look for and how to react. Each wedding is different, but there is a certain flow that emerges. It’s almost like watching a basketball game or baseball game. You can’t predict what’s doing to happen, but you have a pretty good idea of what’s about to take place because you’ve seen it so many times. As a photographer you draw on past experience to dictate how you are going to shoot a scene, deal with the light, flatter the bride’s features, etc… You definitely learn something new at each wedding, but a photographer who’s starting from scratch is going to miss some moments and forget a few things. A wedding day is not the place to be learning everything you need to know, just adding to the things you already know. Choose a photographer who’s shot at least 20 weddings and they will most likely have “seen it all.”
So you notice I didn’t say anything about price. This is where it’s a little more tricky. You have to look at the four key elements above and ask yourself what they are worth to you? If they are very important and play a key role in your day, you will most likely pay more for your photography and the result will be an amazing day with some really amazing photographs. In the world of photography the old adage “you get what you pay for” is very true. If you are on the fence or feel that there are other aspects that deserve more of your attention and your budget then you’ll have to consider the trade offs and be confident with the decision you’ve made. Keep in mind that you make the decision about your photographer far in advance, and once the day arrives, there is no turning back or change of plans. It takes a leap of faith, but it doesn’t have to be a blind leap!
2. Start Pictures 3 Hours Ahead
This might sound a little crazy, but if you start taking your photos 3 hours ahead of time you’ll have plenty of time, no rushing, and everyone will look fresh. Start with the guys getting ready and then their formal shots along with some fun photos of the Groom and his buddies. Then move on to the Bride’s final touches of getting ready followed by the formals and fun shots with her girls. In all, this should take just over an hour or so and should be a fun time for everyone! Oh, and one thing I forgot to mention. Even with this 3 hour window for photos, plan on running about an hour behind. What? An hour? Yes. Think about it. Someone forgets their shoes and has to run and get them (10 min) the flowers don’t show up on time (15 min), the guys are having a tough time because their jackets aren’t fitting right (10 min), the bride just lost her ear ring (10 min) and before you know it you’re running 45 min behind schedule. So a built in buffer of an hour will ensure any time eaten up with little things here and there won’t put you behind (too much). So if you plan on being at the salon at 10 AM, make it a 9 AM appointment ;o)
3. Consider a REVEAL Moment
This is also known as a “First Look” and is becoming more and more common with our modern couples. So what is it? A reveal moment takes place BEFORE the wedding ceremony and is a chance for the Bride and Groom to see each other in an intimate moment with no one but themselves and their photographer. Now, there are a million reasons I can suggest for doing a reveal moment, but I think the very best one is this; it allows the couple to embrace, hug, kiss, and be with their best friend. It allows us to capture moments that would have NEVER happened otherwise. You can’t hug or kiss when you are in front of everyone at the ceremony, but you can talk and whisper and cry as much as you want during a reveal moment. Not to mention that in this moment all of the butterflies go away, so couples who opt to do this extra special reveal tend to remember more of their ceremony and generally have a more relaxing day.
The obvious next step is doing the couple photos right after the reveal moment. Both the Bride and Groom are happy, fresh, and not stressed about time. What better time to spend 45 minutes to an hour to take some amazing pictures? These are the ones that will grace the wall for decades to come, the heirlooms, the ones you will show to your children one day. Spending extra time on these is always a good idea. If you’re on a budget and can’t afford to have 10-12 hours of coverage on your wedding day, don’t stress. The time spent on these photos is well worth the trade off of hours of reception dancing photos. Even though Uncle Carl’s over bite is hilarious while he shows off sweet moves from the 80’s, it just pails in comparison to the intimate and beautiful moments between a Bride and Groom on their wedding day. Think about it this way…. when was the last time you saw a photo hanging over the mantel in your best friend’s home of the wedding party cutting loose on the dance floor during the reception? Make more of your time with your photographer count and do some great shots before the ceremony. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed!
4. Create a SHOT LIST for Formals
Call me crazy, but I don’t like “winging it,” especially on a day as important as as wedding day. Some photographers feel that any kind of list is too “stuffy” and cuts down on their creativity. I don’t share this sentiment. This is an opportunity for me to interact with the most important people of the day and I don’t want to leave anything to chance. I also don’t want to waste anyone’s time. The last thing people want to do is stand around and take pictures, there is a party that’s getting ready to start and everyone wants to get there. I hear it loud and clear every time we set up for family formals. Before the wedding, months in advance, I assign all of my couples some “homework” for the wedding. The due date is at least 1 week before their big day.So what is it? It’s a shot list. But let’s not get confused, its not a list of all the photos they want that day (that’s not even possible), it’s a list of all the names of important people who will be a the wedding and how they fit into this formal photo timeline. From Moms and Dads to siblings and bridal party members I have them list out their first and last names. Then I try my best to memorize all the names on the list so we can be more personable to everyone there.
Then the routine goes something like this. I’ll make an announcement to the the group to explain how this is going to work. “Thank you for coming out today to support _______ and ______. I’m sure you can’t wait to get to the reception so if we can work together I’ll try my best to have you in and out as soon as possible.” At this point everyone is listening, who wouldn’t want to hurry things along? “In fact,” I continue, “_________ and _________ have had some homework and they’ve come up with a list of shots for us to take today for all the family formals. They’ve done their homework to make sure this can go as fast as possible and to ensure no one gets left out.” By this point people are smiling and nodding their heads. They agree with this “controlled chaos” approach. “So, if you are familiar with baseball, we’re going to have some of you up to bat, some on deck , and some in the hole as we shoot each group.” Then my last phrase is what seals the deal. “I’m sure _________ and ________ have already thought of most of the shots you might want to see, but if we’ve left anything out there will be time at the end to squeeze in any shots we might have missed.” This keeps Aunt Margaret at bay, trust me, she would have jumped in at least 3-4 times and asked for a shot or two with the couple or with her kids before we even got thing going! My wife (and lovely assistant) then takes over and helps get everyone into place while I take the shots of each individual, group or whatever the couple requested for their formal photos. It works like magic and I can tell you that I started doing it after my second wedding and it hasn’t failed me yet. We get more compliments from the family and the wedding party from this little event than the entire wedding and the guests are much more willing to participate with us during the reception. Why? Because we didn’t waste anyone’s time.
5. Shoot the Formals BEFORE the Wedding
Basically the same idea exists throughout the entire wedding… it’s best to take pictures when people look their best and aren’t pressed for time. Not that anyone is really pressed for time to get to the reception, but everyone wants to get done with pictures as soon as possible. After the couple have had their reveal moment then it’s on to the family formals. We’ll use the shot list to keep things rolling along but even then, on a wedding day it’s like trying to herd cats. Everyone wants to talk and catch up, they might not have seen each other for awhile, but that’s ok, we always find a way to work around it. If you shoot all of the formal shots before the wedding there is no need to take them after the ceremony. This is great for two reasons. First, you can forget worrying about “running behind.” Your brother might have forgot something back at the hotel, the crew was still setting up the chairs, etc, etc… There are any number of things that can delay the wedding. No worries, you are off taking pictures with the family and making good use of the time. If the ceremony runs a little behind, you’ll make up for it later and you won’t have to take a ton of photos after the wedding. Second, you get to enjoy cocktail hour with your guests instead of taking pictures. The normal flow of events would have you chained to the photographer and your family for the formal pictures. If you opt to take them before hand, you are free to join your guests for cocktails and catch up with old friends. After all, that’s why you invited them, and you’ll have so much fun during this time it will also be a great addition to your wedding album after we catch all the memorable moments!
6. Look UP as You Walk DOWN
Before each processional my wife and I give everyone a little pep talk. “Now, unlike Japan or California,” I begin, “we don’t have to worry about earthquakes here in Arizona. So, as you walk down the isle, don’t worry, the ground won’t move under your feet, it will stay right where it is, so feel free to keep your chin up, look around, wave at guests and have a big smile. You are going to do great!” I’ve seen so many wedding parties and brides walk down the isle with their heads down and looking at the ground. Granted a Bride always looks beautiful no matter what the angle, but a shot of the crown of the head isn’t quite as memorable as a big smile or little wave at a friend as she is walking down the isle. The bridal party also has to keep in mind that they need to slow it down a little. As they look up, it natural to be a little nervous. In fact, all eyes are on you, so most of us would want to get out of the spotlight as soon as possible. Just keep in mind that a camera can only focus so fast, and if it’s dark out or in a dimly lit church, things get even harder. So take your time, and enjoy the moment… I promise you you’ll be glad you did! Here are some shots of Maggie as she walked down the isle. Notice her head was up and her huge smile in every frame!
7. Grand Entrance then right into the first dances
Now every planner and venue has their own way of doing things, but having seen the best and the worst I think I have a preference when it comes to the grand entrance and the first dances. First of all, I’ve noticed that during the beginning of a reception, all eyes are on the couple. The food hasn’t arrived yet, there aren’t any drinks being served, so the couple has everyone’s undivided attention. This the the perfect time for the first dance. So, the DJ makes the annoucement and introduces each of the bridal party members. After that, the couple make their grand entrance as the new Mr. and Mrs and walk into the room right onto the dance floor. The DJ loads their song and they being to dance while everyone around them watches, a tear in the eye, and we get to capture all of the special moments. When done this way, the backdrop to the photos are priceless. Mothers wiping their eyes, Dad’s holding their wives, siblings admiring the couple with that “almost going to cry” look. We light up the room so you can see everyone enjoying the moment. The flip side would be a room full of people, talking and enjoying each other but not paying any attention to the couple on the dance floor. I’ve even seen worse when no one even knew the first dance was going on. After the first dance comes the Daddy/Daughter and Mother/Son dances before we lose everyone’s attention. Some of the most intimate moments happen when a Father dances with his daughter after just being married. It makes me think about my own little girl and how it will be one day with her and how special that feeling will be. Naturally after the dances are done the couple and the rest of the reception can being the party and start eating! Here are just a few of my favorites over the last few weddings.
8. Group the FUN Reception Activities
Nothing keeps a party rolling like fun events during a reception. I’d have to say the same is even more true when the events are grouped together. Examples would be… First Dances (Couple, Daddy, Mother) followed by toasts and then let everyone eat. After all the eating is done, why not jump right into the cake cutting, bouquet and garter toss? The crowd will definitely have a great time watching each of these fun events and they’ll already be up on their feet… sounds like a great time to start dancing! By grouping the fun together you’re more likely to have the guests attention and keep the party going. If they are spaced too far apart, you might lose some to the bar and before you know it… no one wants to participate. Here are a few of my favorites from the past two months.
Can't you just feel this shot?
CL Studio Version of a Photo Booth
A good DJ can Really Make this Moment
During the Toast
The groom's sister during her toast
I don't know if they really want to catch it!?
They did this to me at my brother's wedding - no evidence though! Whew!
9. Place the Cake in the MIDDLE of the Room
Now, this might seem like a strange thing to do, maybe a little unorthodox, but it makes a big difference. When a cake is against the wall (as all of these cakes were) though beautiful, they become hard to access and harder to photograph. Even worse, what happens if you try to move the table and the cake falls? Not the most ideal way to remember the cake cutting. Ideally, if a cake is in the middle of the room (not in the center of the room, just away from the walls) people can surround the couple on all sides and watch as they cut the cake and get in a huge cake fight! Ok, well, not always, but I have seen a few and they were awesome! In an effort to protect the innocent I’m going to refrain from posting those pics! Haha, but boy they are funny. Anyway, a cake against the wall will be difficult to access and the photos will end up having some horrible shadows cast on the wall from the flash. When the cake is in the middle of a room, the backdrop now becomes all of the smiling faces of the quests and it is such a fun scene. Take my advice, break tradition and become a middle cake kind of person, you won’t regret it.
10. Hire a Good DJ
There are so many things to consider when planning a wedding and usually a limited budget. I would say after you have secured your venue and picked a totally awesome photographer the next step is to get a highly recommended DJ. These days you can program your own songs and use a laptop or iPod to run a play list, but there’s no substitute for a good DJ who knows how to read a crowed to keep the party rolling. Experience is the key and recommendations are the only way to go. Some DJ’s are all about the music and do a fantastic job of getting the vibe going to pull people onto the dance floor. Others are more entertainment based and have a lot of fun with the guests through interaction and games. I would have to say that some of the funniest and most memorable photos have been the totally crazy skits, dances, and games put on by the DJ. My personal favorite is Infinity Entertainment. Here is a shot they did from a wedding we did last fall. Priceless!
Dancing at its finest
I love solving problems and creating something from nothing.